I'll be up front. I'm confused and confused is never exactly the best way to write a column.

For that matter, I suppose it is an especially poor way to begin one. Why would you want to read the ramblings of a confused man?

But bear with me. I write because perhaps some of you have some answers, some way to explain how the city has managed to come very, very close to bungling a $4.5 million housing investment proposed by pro football player Ed Jasper.

Or it could be that the proper question is not to ask how we have bollixed up this deal.

Maybe the question is not how, but why we have done it.

The implications of any why can make you sick to your stomach and weak at your knees, as if you've stood too long in the sun and need some relief. With why, relief is not at hand.